Change, Change, Change
Happy New Year, Babes.
I know—I already said Happy New Year in last week’s letter, but I just still want to wish you more happiness in your life, somehow, and more newness. Not, like, the chaotic and anxiety-inducing kind of new news continually streaming in from all over the entire world every day (which is starting to feel really old) but some kind of positive, personal renewal. I wish you growth. I wish you discovery. I wish you new joys. I do!
I’d like to think that even with everything happening, that you can find some nontoxic positivity. I think we all need each other’s joy, happiness, health, and growth. We keep one another going.
Goals Etc.
It seems most people don’t like making resolutions. That’s cool. Sometimes that is genuine dislike or disinterest based on someone’s personality, but also I suspect it is a fashionable way of thinking. Like, ten years ago some cool kid in society said that making resolutions is lame, and a bunch of kids who don’t feel cool but wish they did just jumped on that ideological bandwagon. Well, let me be the cool kid (???) who says, do what you like! Either way. Make one, don’t make one. Whatever floats your boat. You’re cool just the way you are.
(Most of the coolest people I know don’t think that they are.) (Joining a bandwagon of any type makes you slightly less cool, actually.) (Right?) (Who cares?!)
When I was younger I really liked making resolutions. It gave me something to focus on and I really enjoyed the idea and the feeling that I had the power to make improvements. In my life. In the world. In young adulthood my resolutions were garden variety and not super effective: Lose the baby weight! Master the budget! Read more books! By my early 30’s I’d learned I’d have more luck by setting goals that were specific and achievable. If I read 35 books one year, I would resolve to read 40 the next. If I was already going out for runs sporadically, I would resolve to run 3 times per week. Sometimes it worked out. Sometimes it didn’t. But I usually made some kind of progress.
One year in my early 30’s, a year or so after a big move, the new year rolled around I had so much going on that making a resolution felt overwhelming or unwise. I was a couple of months into a new job and still settling into a new community. One of my kids was smack in-between 2 major surgeries related to her scoliosis. I had a pretty good routine going with cooking and chores and driving the kids around and doing a weekly date with my husband and reading every day and spiritual practice and going for runs and socializing. The annual impulse to set a resolution arrived—I wanted to—but life just felt like a lot. I sat in my bed one morning and stared at an unpacked box in the corner of the room. It was really bugging me, and had been for a while. The box was full of useful and/or sentimental things I didn’t want to get rid of, but I was at a loss about where to put them in my new home. And it remained undone because it was neither urgent or important. Anyway, I sat there and resolved to unpack the box. Not that day. But some time before 2015 (maybe) came to an end. Over a few days I made a list of 52 tiny things that I wanted to accomplish. Unpack the box. Finish an essay. Call an old friend. Get a pap smear. I figured I could try to do one per week. It worked. I loved checking things off the list that year! I only finished about 40 tasks (didn’t get that essay done) but it gave me the feeling of progress and control that I crave.
Later in my 30’s, I discovered goal planners 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 and they have been my daily companion ever since. I love goals. I am a future oriented person. I never ever ever make as much progress as I hope to. But I’ve come to a place where I am happy with that. I always get most of the way to my goal, which I think is farther than I’d get without one. Plus, looking back at my planning and tracking and journals over the years brings me satisfaction because I can see the cumulative effects of intentional growth over time.
My life is a lot simpler now, and I don’t need a goal planner. Kids are grown. I’m by myself a lot and my biggest non-work responsibility is walking and feeding the dog. Most of my adulting and health habits are accomplished more through habit than striving. And, one of my disciplines has been to avoid putting too much back onto my fairly empty plate. I have been taking a break from volunteering and social commitments and have boundaries around work even though I could definitely do more (and often feel like I should do more.) (Protecting my mental health and maintaining balance after recently recovering from burnout is more important than professional success at this point, ((check back next year)) so that’s the priority.) BUT. I still like having something to aim for.
Actual Goals
In 2026 I will finish writing my book. I’ve been making great progress lately, and, looking at my outline and work plan, finishing is totally do-able with just a little more time each week than I’ve already been putting in. So, I’ve created structure for that in my work weeks. All I have to do is work my plan.
My second loose aim is to keep slowly increasing the healthier habits I’ve already been growing. Yoga, obviously. Reaching for tea instead of wine in the evening more often. Increasing the amount of veggies I eat. I love veggies! So why not? I already walk a lot but over the holidays I inherited a smart watch from a family member who got a new one, so for the first time I’m measuring my steps. It’s fun! It’s like a game. I’ve set my daily step goal maybe ten percent higher than my average. It encourages me to go one more block with the dog. Little tweaks, you know?
In middle age my New Year Goal Refresh feels less like striving for progress, and more like a gentle refocusing on everything that is important to me. It feels like intentionally refocusing my mind when I find my attention is scattered, just on a bigger scale.
Upcoming Changes
I’ve been writing this Postapocalyptic People letter for a year now (wow!) and I think I’ll send it just once per month now. If I feel inclined to write to you more often (and I probably will) I will simply post things without emailing, and then add links to the posts in the monthly letter. I mean, we could all use a lighter inbox, right?
(Did you know that I send this letter with Substack, which is sort of a newsletter-blog combo? You can go to the homepage anytime you want to find old letters.)
Another thing that will change (slightly) in regard to this letter is that:
1) I am going to stop trying to not… be a Christian writer… (Eeek.) In the past I have avoided writing about religion much because:
1a) I know and love people who have all kinds of beliefs, and I would never want anyone to feel alienated or like this isn’t for them. Please, stay! I think you’re fantastic just as you are! Tell me all about it, even. I want to know.
1b) I would never ever ever want to speak on God’s behalf. (Well, except to say that God loves you… I’m a million percent convinced of that, otherwise take everything I write as a changing mood.) I mean, what level of arrogance 👀 would it take for a person 👀 to think they alone know the mysterious and divine mind of the most Holy One better than anyone else on the planet 👀? Very arrogant! The most! What an a-hole! Personally, I am terrified of misrepresenting the Lord. And I am terrified of accidentally hurting and misleading anyone, OMG.
1c) I am far from being a perfect person, and even though I don’t typically care about other people’s judgement (one of my life’s greatest achievements, to be sure), I know (from experience and observation) that some religious people love to come out of the woodwork to just be so judgy. I’m not worried about being judged. I just don’t want to deal with it, you know? Like, buzz off. But, I know the minute I come out as a God-lover, someone is bound to get their panties in a knot and publicly shame my (often real) hypocrisy or mistakes, or maybe even make their own mistake and publicly shame things about me that are perfectly lovely but that they just don’t like.
Those hesitations aside, I do think about God and/or am talking to God pretty much all day every day so I am simply surrendering to what comes naturally to me. It is hard to hide my faith when I am sharing thoughts out of my brain with you. So, it’s not exactly a topic change, per se. It’s just that I’m accepting than I am who I am and I’m not going to intentionally tone it down. So, be prepared for a lot more sentences like: God loves you, and fear not, and love one another, and make sure you’ve got plenty of oil to keep your lamp lit!
Where was I….? oh gosh… oh yes… Another thing that will change (slightly) in regard to this letter is that:
2) I think I might write to you from my real life even more. The first year of Postapocalyptic People was largely about just seeing what the heck this even is. The thing about creative projects (for all of you who don’t do creative projects) is that what comes out in the end is usually quite different than the creation as it originally existed in your mind.
(Tried painting a picture lately?)
(I tried, on Tuesday, when the writing wasn’t working.)
Until now I have tried to write more about chosen topics (even though it is my own take on the topic) rather than about myself and my life as the subject. I guess I have felt that writing about myself is too self-centred (who cares?) or too boring (I walk the dog, I sit alone in my office, I walk the dog…) But, I realized that I truly delight in a handful of newsletters I receive from perfect strangers who just write little adventure tales from their days. Getting a peek into another person’s life is a pleasant diversion. It’s encouraging somehow. It reminds me that we’re all just down here having our unique-but-similar mundane human experiences on Earth and attempting to do our imperfect best with the limited resources life gives us.
Most of you readers are strangers to me, so the fact that you’re still here after a year 🤗 even though my topics have been all over the place, suggests to me that maybe you enjoy the little peeks you get into my life. Every once in a while someone I know IRL will mention that they read the newsletter and it stops me cold. I have an, oh gawd, what have I written recently? moment. Like I’ve been caught wrapped in a towel fresh out of the shower by my next door neighbour through the window. Then I shrug and get on with my life. The email list is so long that I have no idea who is in it. (Sorry if that sounded either braggy or dismissive.) (If you want to unsubscribe, go for it… I’ll never know!) So, all that to say, expect more tales from walking the dog. Or, something.
Staying the Same
I will surely keep lying to you.
For example, like last week when I promised I would continue my 2025 reading summary this week. When I started typing this morning, I thought I’d say a little something about resoltions, and then get back to the books. But, the first part went on much longer than intended and now I need to get on with my day. (Next up, literally walking the dog…) So I’m sending it as is. Maybe I’ll write about that next week. I mean, next month. I mean…
Happy New Year, Babes!1
xoxo Danica
Also, you are “Babes” now instead of “Friends”. For no reason whatsoever except the vibe this morning. I’ll probably forget by next week. I mean, by next month.
I love you and your writing so much. You continue to inspire me.